Age 2
Tantrums (2-3 years)
She says “No!” to everything adults suggest, “I do it” if you try to help her, and then throws a fit when she can’t do it . . . are you at a loss for how to respond to your child at this stage?
Children at this age are overflowing with the wish to “grow up” and be recognized as a “big kid.” That is why they assert themselves with all their might to the adults close to them.
When an adult who is important to her tells her to do something . . .
She wants to grow up so she can’t accept being treated like a child.
But the truth is she can’t do things on her own yet, either.
When she realizes she can’t do it, she gets frustrated.
If you confront your child she won’t accept what you say. She is watching how you respond. At times like that, try changing your approach and using these words that work like magic on a child’s heart!
Give your child the chance to show how grown up she is by saying,
“OK, before we eat, will you show me how good you are at _______?”
When you try to dress her, she says, “I don’t wear this!”
Let your child make a choice by saying,
“What do you want to wear? Why don’t you bring me what you want to wear.”
“Time to put it away.”
→“No! Not done!”
Give your child time to finish what she is doing so she doesn’t feel forced by saying,
“When you’re done put it away, OK? I’ll wait!”
When you try to do something for your child and she says, “No! I do it!” but she can’t . . .
Don’t say
→”That’s why I said I would do it for you!”
Wait for the right time and then say,
“Is it okay if I help you? I’ll just hold it here for you.”
This way your child can make the decision and feel the satisfaction of doing it herself.
It’s not as if your child can do everything that she wants to.
For example, there may be times when she wants to wear clothes that are still in the wash, doesn’t want to take her medicine, or doesn’t want to go home from the park.
At times like that . . .
“What would you rather do, _______ or _______?”
“Which cup do you want to use?
This one? This one?”
“Do you want to go home in an eee-ooo ambulance?
Or an oooOOOooo firetruck?
Or a fwooosh bullet train?”
Try to give your child a choice even within something she doesn’t have a choice about.