A Treasury of Child-Rearing Advice

公益財団法人仙台観光国際協会 Sendai Tourism, Convention and International Association.

Material Compilation: Sendai City Ayashi Nursery, Ochiai Nursery, Kumagane Nursery
Material Provision: Nursery Section, Children’s Future Bureau, City of Sendai
Editing and Translation: Sendai International Relations Association


HOMEAge 4 > Friends (4 years)

Age 4

Friends (4 years)

Children’s fights are generally caused by an inability to communicate their feelings to each other. Whenever children play together, there will be some degree of conflict.

Why do children fight?

  • Their feelings differ from those of their friends
  • They are frustrated when things do not go the way they thought they would
  • They can’t share toys nicely

Through these experiences . . .

Children learn to assert themselves and to understand the feelings of others. And they begin to grow into people who share and are considerate.

 Fights are important experiences that help your child grow.

★Something that seems trivial to an adult may be very important to a child.

Try to understand your child’s motivations and teach her what to do next time.

Why doesn’t my child play with other children?

Even though you think it should be more fun to play with other children, your child may play by their self.

★Your child may be OK playing alone if . . .

  • Your child is concentrating on something
    This means that they are enjoying playing alone, not that they want to play with the others but can’t.
  • Your child is smiling
    If your child appears to enjoy watching other children playing, they're OK. They may be emotionally engaged in what is going on. Wait for them to decide if they want to join the other children.

★Your child may want to play with others but can’t if . . .

  • Your child looks downcast
    Try quietly asking your child what’s wrong. If it seems like they don’t have the confidence to join the other children or doesn’t know how to join them, don’t try to suddenly push them in. Start by teaching them how to play by joining in yourself.
  • Your child looks like they want to join the others
    If it seems like your child wants to join the others, invite them to join the group along with you and play with them for a while.